The onion = ... By: Skkitzzo86. on 10 Sep 10, 07:38:57 The onion = Greatest Trolls Ever. If i ever need a laugh i read all the comments of people who think this is serious :)
$50? lolz.
and he ... By: RomZruleTeHworld. on 10 Sep 10, 06:53:52 $50? lolz.
and he looks like Makarov in MW2!
50$ worth of wire = ... By: MetalOliver. on 10 Sep 10, 06:20:42 50$ worth of wire = newswort.... oh TheOnion, thought that was fox news for a second :s
In Finland this ... By: IQR77. on 10 Sep 10, 04:59:10 In Finland this kind of video is true. Our police has recently find out that in our small country has 76 organized crime families. 76!!!! and most of them are just like these guys on video. Funny is also when police founds something like 100g amfetamin, newspapers describe it a "shipment". This is true.
@fenriz218 jankem ... By: harlan51594. on 10 Sep 10, 04:57:26 @fenriz218 jankem is shit that you inhale you cant inject it
It's always good to ... By: AvsJoe. on 10 Sep 10, 04:04:28 It's always good to see powerful drug barons get their comeuppance. Let's give a round of applause to Michigan police!
I would love to ... By: BaurakAle7. on 10 Sep 10, 03:43:54 I would love to find a popular dating website that could pair lonely singles with wines . . . I'd know just what I needed to buy on a date.
@GhostDistortion I ... By: raleelee88. on 10 Sep 10, 03:40:34 @GhostDistortion I thought I was the only one that found humor in people's dumb behavior..and that's why I never miss a video that The Onion News Network puts out. It makes me freakin day. And yeah, meth heads totally look like that lol.
@coogiszk LOL!! IT ... By: MoOtErFiCk1. on 10 Sep 10, 03:28:40 @coogiszk LOL!! IT IS YOU!!!
Its too true to be ... By: pplkillppl. on 10 Sep 10, 02:59:54 Its too true to be funny.
HAHA, i'm in this ... By: coogiszk. on 10 Sep 10, 02:59:09 HAHA, i'm in this video...i'm one of Krogen's bodyguards!
Look up Hannibal ... By: HaNsAnEnTeRtAiNmEnT3. on 10 Sep 10, 02:46:44 Look up Hannibal Sanchez :watch my video's: I'm your Future!
Was barely funny :/ By: TAROlovex3. on 10 Sep 10, 02:43:38 Was barely funny :/
This is not ... By: MastaRikta. on 10 Sep 10, 02:14:45 This is not consistent with my research done with "Breaking Bad"...
Haha! "Police ... By: Horn0816. on 10 Sep 10, 01:46:36 Haha! "Police managed to flip one of Krogen's top leutenants by offering him a cup of coffee" Dude played hard ball and kept his mouth shut, but once they found his weakness...
??????????????????? ... By: thecimerakiller863. on 10 Sep 10, 01:32:40 ?????????????????????????
@giveobamaquarters ... By: wishingyouwerescene. on 10 Sep 10, 01:32:40 @giveobamaquarters bwahhahahaha (sorry if this is a double post)
LOL at the little ... By: nalgaface123456789. on 10 Sep 10, 01:18:15 LOL at the little stories at bottom
'...make a UFC logo ... By: ChiaKaCheng. on 10 Sep 10, 03:05:12 '...make a UFC logo on their answer sheet' lol that's funny
i am a lazy ass ... By: BALJIT147. on 09 Sep 10, 22:53:47 i am a lazy ass hole and i want to drop out but i have to be 18 its not fair, im just gona skip from now on
"there is a big ... By: boutux. on 09 Sep 10, 20:13:33 "there is a big social stigma against lazy, self centered assholes." lmao!!! so the answer is to pretend u give a shit!
NO SHIT SHERLOCK! By: moodswyng. on 09 Sep 10, 16:35:36 NO SHIT SHERLOCK!
@masik7290 No, you ... By: ValarMorgoth. on 09 Sep 10, 14:52:37 @masik7290 No, you are not retarded like us, you are way MORE retarded.
The students who ... By: raleelee88. on 09 Sep 10, 06:14:36 The students who don't give a shit are given proper role models..rappers lol. LOVE the Onion :)
I have often ... By: Tippy2forU. on 09 Sep 10, 06:14:28 I have often wondered about the people at Kinkos. This is dead on. They truly don't give a shit and the FedEx add-on is far worse. They really don't give a crap.
if news was as ... By: alexv0009. on 09 Sep 10, 05:59:30 if news was as honest like this, i would be watching it everyday.
@MrTanyi sadly he ... By: OrigProdigy. on 09 Sep 10, 05:53:15 @MrTanyi sadly he only had a sister, but I honestly had to look it up haha. cause I laughed out loud for real.
Someone needs to ... By: MrTanyi. on 09 Sep 10, 05:30:02 Someone needs to fact check that shit about Coolidge's brother... Cuz that's funny as hell
I lol'd so hard
By: marooki. on 09 Sep 10, 05:16:24 I lol'd so hard
I aint snitchin ... By: WARDEATHFUN. on 09 Sep 10, 04:54:47 I aint snitchin bitch
I AINT SNITCHIN By: HowThundWorldF00ks. on 09 Sep 10, 04:32:51 I AINT SNITCHIN
I want to know how ... By: ChurchOfArceus. on 09 Sep 10, 02:45:59 I want to know how they manage to do this stuff with a straight face. It's just too funny.
this video is so, ... By: PlanetoftheAtheists. on 09 Sep 10, 02:43:11 this video is so, so, so, um, i dont care. What?
We need to test ... By: Pizzachu1. on 09 Sep 10, 02:12:41 We need to test these kids on what they know, not what we want them to know!
I wish my life was ... By: Headsetphobias. on 09 Sep 10, 01:05:57 I wish my life was as exciting as Clifford Banes's...
Hey wait I don't ... By: daymyth. on 09 Sep 10, 01:05:16 Hey wait I don't care but I still get good grades, there are no excuses.
@ValarMorgoth ... By: JUGO49. on 09 Sep 10, 00:15:08 @ValarMorgoth duuuuude in puerto rico the public schools suck waaaaaaaaaaaay more than in usa the schools you have in usa are cool man enjoy them
Where is the 'LOVE! ... By: bombay55100. on 09 Sep 10, 00:03:45 Where is the 'LOVE!' button...? (:
This is wayy too ... By: BrittanysMusicVideos. on 08 Sep 10, 23:54:11 This is wayy too true...
I love how the new ... By: Align. on 10 Sep 10, 05:26:33 I love how the new structure looks like the economist.
What I'd give to ... By: 423likeajewel. on 10 Sep 10, 05:02:48 What I'd give to see the face of a TIme magazine editor right about now... The Onion fucking dominates!!!
For me, the funny ... By: noblesteel. on 10 Sep 10, 00:50:21 For me, the funny part is that I actually did read Time as a kid along with Mad Magazine. I was ADHD and those were the only magazines that could hold my attention.
@mithago I love it ... By: My6thAccount. on 09 Sep 10, 13:03:20 @mithago I love it when people take this stuff seriously.
I didn't even ... By: mithago. on 09 Sep 10, 11:42:33 I didn't even realise that Time was a kid's magazine. I thought it already was for adults....
@two9ertango so ... By: 654ha123. on 09 Sep 10, 10:19:17 @two9ertango so true man....i remeber back in grade school i asked to read a issue of cosmopolitation a girl had on her desk....i cant belive what the front cover said....10 ways to please your man in bed....and this was 10th grade!
The Onion's videos ... By: MrTanyi. on 09 Sep 10, 05:33:26 The Onion's videos are getting more real!
Well, for years ... By: ValarMorgoth. on 08 Sep 10, 20:53:46 Well, for years only kids read Times ...
@vinoberg for ... By: CultureCunt. on 08 Sep 10, 18:22:58 @vinoberg for another hangover!
thay always get new ... By: mistered17. on 08 Sep 10, 17:52:47 thay always get new actors!!!!
time just got owned. By: lxvlx. on 08 Sep 10, 16:05:46 time just got owned.
BREAKING NEWS: The ... By: DarkbladeMediaTV. on 07 Sep 10, 20:10:13 BREAKING NEWS: The Onion becomes the first and only news network to never make the switch to the 16:9 aspect ratio, causing a revolution in reporting and film-making in which more and more people return to the previously thought inferior format of 4:3.
I'd watch that in 3D. :P
Yay Hangover Helper ... By: SunDown419. on 07 Sep 10, 14:46:38 Yay Hangover Helper!!!!
@kindestchains In ... By: ross817. on 07 Sep 10, 04:49:23 @kindestchains In Texas, US we also call it the hair of the dog, too. Small world, I guess.
@kindestchains we ... By: Magdalicious00. on 07 Sep 10, 02:16:32 @kindestchains we call it hair of the dog too... nice one on the teacher's part.. I've said things in class at times that I thought... whoops prolly wasn't the best idea..
my chemistry ... By: kindestchains. on 07 Sep 10, 01:18:14 my chemistry teacher once explained to the class why and how drinking more can lesens the effects of a hangover, then realised he'd adviced us drink more and told us not to tell are parents about that class. btw in ireland we call this remedy the hair of the dog and i was wondering if and other countries have a special name for it.
i am shocked by the ... By: teague67. on 06 Sep 10, 17:16:53 i am shocked by the onion's lazy substandand editing on this piece
#TeamEconomist By: FerreThoughts. on 06 Sep 10, 16:00:39 #TeamEconomist
@megaZeroXXO they ... By: vcga. on 06 Sep 10, 07:54:16 @megaZeroXXO they have over 77 actors... try looking into the other videos... most of the actors are different
Great exercise, ... By: stlkngyomom. on 10 Sep 10, 08:41:13 Great exercise,loved your book,now how do I strecht out my vagina and more importantly where can I get one cheap?
Stop with all the ... By: bangoose3000. on 09 Sep 10, 22:45:17 Stop with all the racism shit, this isn't racism, they're taking the piss out of a cliché.. Just like they've been doing for the past two years in every video.
what are you ... By: wiionline1992. on 09 Sep 10, 22:44:43 what are you talking about jews no no we gotta kill grabblers god damn
@MrSkate4weed The ... By: UnderAvg. on 09 Sep 10, 17:42:47 @MrSkate4weed The underlying "racism" wasn't subtle at all.
slowly ... By: Maurosso. on 09 Sep 10, 15:20:49 slowly disintegrating in a pile of ash...damn, harsh but killer funny :P
omg kill all the ... By: bootysweat4444. on 09 Sep 10, 14:30:54 omg kill all the grabblers thats so funny but yet its prettty bad
jews did WTC By: heratus007. on 09 Sep 10, 12:02:55 jews did WTC
this was the best By: Coty72. on 08 Sep 10, 19:37:54 this was the best
messed up By: corncornrocks. on 08 Sep 10, 19:19:22 messed up
@stichguy no bro ... By: rhfyr91. on 08 Sep 10, 17:59:23 @stichguy no bro she is making a joke
@MOTat18 and her ... By: HerrSpieldose. on 08 Sep 10, 13:24:01 @MOTat18 and her perky smile was the funniest...
im so jewish...and ... By: knectick. on 08 Sep 10, 02:32:29 im so jewish...and this is fucking hilarious
OMG this wasn't ... By: UnderAvg. on 08 Sep 10, 01:37:14 OMG this wasn't subtle at all!
lol i just realized ... By: conscript93. on 07 Sep 10, 19:34:29 lol i just realized it was jews at the last few seconds of the video , i think that made a bit funnier
273 dumbasses don't ... By: williamstackford. on 07 Sep 10, 13:44:17 273 dumbasses don't get the Onion. Fucken LOL'd. Hard.
Tips for stretching ... By: isanorhadi. on 07 Sep 10, 13:26:06 Tips for stretching out your vagina without having a baby hahahaha
@stichguy Someone ... By: redeemer1kamili. on 07 Sep 10, 06:04:48 @stichguy Someone who actually gets the point : )
Love the whistle at ... By: LuminusX. on 10 Sep 10, 01:52:10 Love the whistle at the end :D lol
@salemcripple the ... By: BONIFASI007. on 09 Sep 10, 22:49:27 @salemcripple the constitution guarantees freedom of speech?? haha what a douche
kids in school must really give you a hard time
@BONIFASI007 So? ... By: salemcripple. on 09 Sep 10, 09:11:04 @BONIFASI007 So? Deal with it. The constitution guarantees freedom of speech, It however does NOT say you're always going to like what you hear. And in that case, if you don't, Too bad! Go cry to momma. Of course if your comment was meant to be a joke, please disregard.
this is offensive By: BONIFASI007. on 09 Sep 10, 01:22:40 this is offensive
I've been to ... By: MetalEagle95. on 08 Sep 10, 16:49:14 I've been to Guatemala and I can say this report is so offensive and false. For one they use Black Howler Monkeys to deliver warnings, not Jaguars.
i thought i was ... By: throwingshit. on 06 Sep 10, 00:58:23 i thought i was watching CNN for a bit, when i realized... this parrot is way to smart to be on CNN.
I thought the ... By: carmen510. on 04 Sep 10, 17:35:00 I thought the peacocks were supposed to deploy their feathers in order to smoothen the landing.
Lmfao, oh my gosh, ... By: seanyyzz. on 04 Sep 10, 06:22:25 Lmfao, oh my gosh, could the onion get any funnier?
Thank god they have ... By: Sollythesilent. on 02 Sep 10, 23:34:09 Thank god they have they have the flintstones down there
As a Guatemalan, ... By: motorolalasershot. on 02 Sep 10, 23:08:54 As a Guatemalan, this cracked me up! Genius!
i was seriously ... By: manofallmen555. on 02 Sep 10, 19:33:18 i was seriously crying and about to wet myself during this!
I pulled the tail of our jaguar alarm and luckily they heard it in time xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Its a Flintstones ... By: jmovlogs. on 02 Sep 10, 18:14:47 Its a Flintstones plane!
HOLY SHIT THE TREES ... By: YesIm10. on 02 Sep 10, 02:52:47 HOLY SHIT THE TREES!
@variously2 It's a ... By: Onetinytree. on 01 Sep 10, 18:35:18 @variously2 It's a reference to "Alive"
if guatemala were ... By: underweightHater. on 01 Sep 10, 05:26:34 if guatemala were really like this i would want to live there.
This is the best ... By: Padre4321. on 31 Aug 10, 16:19:35 This is the best Onion segment I have seen. Incredible!
The anonymous ... By: kingofschnitzels. on 31 Aug 10, 01:36:38 The anonymous mechanic with the bucket on his head, and the sweat running down the front of his shirt killed me. This is amazing lol.
i love the diagram ... By: variously2. on 31 Aug 10, 01:31:37 i love the diagram of the turtle. and that parrot, they went to all that trouble for this!
but it pays off, this one made me laugh so hard i almost fell off my chair.
p.s. is the f27 reference poking fun at the fact that the last one was built in '87 and they're all old and should be decommissioned?
It's mocking how we ... By: Xmaggot93X. on 31 Aug 10, 00:46:51 It's mocking how we see far away countries like those in South America as being primitive.
811 countries and 9 ... By: swedisagnostic. on 30 Aug 10, 20:52:19 811 countries and 9 billion people
@pacosaidso Ya good ... By: METALMAN4Wii. on 30 Aug 10, 20:21:13 @pacosaidso Ya good luck with that buddy......!
@pacosaidso ... By: TonicMike. on 30 Aug 10, 19:20:39 @pacosaidso seriously me too
Wow, I can't ... By: themishkin. on 30 Aug 10, 19:15:01 Wow, I can't believe they still use tortoises as a form of transportation. That's just stupid because hogs are much faster.
I blame Woody Allen ... By: stlkngyomom. on 10 Sep 10, 08:51:53 I blame Woody Allen!!!
hahahaha this is ... By: ChowyDaMan. on 08 Sep 10, 23:19:35 hahahaha this is hilarious
As long as she is ... By: ValarMorgoth. on 08 Sep 10, 20:57:17 As long as she is happy ...
SO HILARIOUS By: matrixistrue. on 08 Sep 10, 11:50:25 SO HILARIOUS
@warsicklol It's ... By: ILoveDeseApples. on 08 Sep 10, 05:57:25 @warsicklol It's the best American satire in my opinion. The Onion is hilarious!
2 month supply of ... By: gtg888h. on 06 Sep 10, 20:16:55 2 month supply of SmartWater...awesome
@samgee2007 You ... By: 123merga. on 06 Sep 10, 19:12:11 @samgee2007 You should have to think it again Nigga !!!!
@meric2 Most ... By: LaChicaMasTerca. on 06 Sep 10, 05:10:36 @meric2 Most people around the world are stupid :P that's reality
it doesn't matter ... By: zethiopia. on 05 Sep 10, 20:00:54 it doesn't matter is true or not, he is lucky!
@RhinoSea If you ... By: spot0914. on 05 Sep 10, 18:33:55 @RhinoSea If you need to ask, just don't ask.
The only way ... By: gjonesy9. on 05 Sep 10, 16:27:08 The only way Angelina Jolie Can get a man is to cast a spell.
Wicked Witch of the East..!
@TitWarlord : YEH!! ... By: xiaoyao528. on 05 Sep 10, 15:31:46 @TitWarlord : YEH!! I was like r u serious, and then I realize it's from onion news!! what else I can trust =D
Is this american ... By: warsicklol. on 05 Sep 10, 14:50:00 Is this american satire?
Jennifer ... By: gjonesy9. on 05 Sep 10, 14:44:12
Jennifer Aniston is my centerfold.
probably this man ... By: samgee2007. on 05 Sep 10, 14:31:44 probably this man got a very big dick or what?~there are so many niggers in America but why she has to choose one from Ethiopia who does not not speak English?...she is going to adopt a dick or what?
@amasuEnd
I find ... By: meric2. on 04 Sep 10, 11:22:05 @amasuEnd
I find that bigots tend to use the term "most" as a clause of sorts, so when their overt prejudices are pointed out they can claim they have tolerance. That they aren't biased, because they never said "all". Just "most".
Not that I don't agree with you. Most Americans are stupid.
@amasuEnd neither ... By: keithemert. on 04 Sep 10, 05:44:42 @amasuEnd neither of you are using the term oxymoron correctly, as IMO neither of those statements contradicted itself. They may however be considered ironic. Also, While it is true that some Americans are stupid, all countries consist of a majority of beings of lesser intelligence as seen from the eyes of an intellectual, While a great many Americans are stupid it is nowhere near as many Swedish folk, who let's say, are overly "flamboyant." I for one am proud to have been born in America.
@Manofaction0 ... By: jldkrank. on 04 Sep 10, 04:41:45 @Manofaction0 Perhaps it is you who are foreign.
i dont understand ... By: dcarterfrom07. on 04 Sep 10, 02:58:37 i dont understand how anybody finds this even slightly funny.... "she adopts a boyfriend" haaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaa haaaaa : (
@amasuEnd
..... ... By: Manofaction0. on 04 Sep 10, 01:27:09 @amasuEnd
.....usually the foreigners are the ones who fall for the onion.
@skalyvaat It's ... By: ReflectedDream. on 10 Sep 10, 01:40:46 @skalyvaat It's called satire. Obviously this isn't real.
too funny. The ... By: murr1066. on 09 Sep 10, 23:31:06
too funny. The young actress was very good.
I fucking HATE Wolf ... By: pvtjamesryan3. on 08 Sep 10, 18:38:47 I fucking HATE Wolf Blitzer.
The guy is a fucking douche bag!!!!
We know that he fed ... By: EscaExcel. on 08 Sep 10, 06:34:25 We know that he fed her lattes and Altoids...lol
@skalyvaat Yes... ... By: mongolbarn123. on 06 Sep 10, 01:59:30 @skalyvaat Yes... yes it is.
Bravo,
love the ... By: dumoulin11. on 06 Sep 10, 00:36:26 Bravo,
love the show and this young actress is amazing.
i wonder if this ... By: MrUncomfortableTruth. on 05 Sep 10, 19:47:09 i wonder if this little girl will grow up to be a rat faced zionist kike who puts israel first???
@skalyvaat
It's ... By: MissLucyBoomer. on 04 Sep 10, 13:02:52 @skalyvaat
It's not suppose to be serious. It's just a joke.
What a fake. She's ... By: skalyvaat. on 04 Sep 10, 09:31:31 What a fake. She's just a young actress. Is this program supposed to be serious?
LOL!
That kid could ... By: brotherjupiter. on 03 Sep 10, 19:20:00 LOL!
That kid could be the next CEO of the NWO she plays her cards right.
Half human...half ... By: Voodoofreak35. on 03 Sep 10, 10:22:28 Half human...half Wolf Blitzer!
that kid is great! By: TheCaptainlatino. on 02 Sep 10, 20:54:56 that kid is great!
What can I say... ... By: salvo711. on 02 Sep 10, 19:52:17 What can I say... The Onion does it again. Fucking hilarious.
@southsydney
... By: AbbathGS. on 02 Sep 10, 19:06:41 @southsydney
Totally. She'll be able to look back on when she was a kid and associate it with doing good gigs.
Molly is fiercely ... By: SuperWarking. on 01 Sep 10, 19:01:02 Molly is fiercely protective of Dr. Sanjay Gupta" Wow......LMAO!
I hope The Onion ... By: DeJiKo06. on 31 Aug 10, 04:29:45 I hope The Onion did a similar skit but with a kid raised from birth by Glenn Beck. It'll be interesting to see a child monkeying and crying like him on TV.
Wolf Blitzer has ... By: dudepower100. on 31 Aug 10, 04:19:05 Wolf Blitzer has seen this video 134 times
the whole lint ... By: drumline17. on 30 Aug 10, 19:22:49 the whole lint roller thing was fucking great
That kid is great! By: tarantulady. on 30 Aug 10, 18:48:07 That kid is great!
@lago4 yeah By: zehaha. on 30 Aug 10, 18:30:29 @lago4 yeah
kind of cute, but ... By: BaylilySue. on 28 Aug 10, 22:09:30 kind of cute, but they missed what I think is the most characteristic of his speech, and that is that he takes a breath in the middle of even short sentences, and sometimes more than once in a sentence. You all seemed to have missed that one.
This little girl is ... By: ExplorerFreak. on 28 Aug 10, 17:45:23 This little girl is absolutely brilliant.
haha news from 2137! By: naphtha132x. on 26 Aug 10, 20:05:59 haha news from 2137!
In The Know panelists discuss yesterday's truck accident, and why nothing was done to prevent the vehicle from accidentally spiraling out of control and killing rafters in canyon below.
id say HANG the man ... By: DeAnZcUtEe. on 08 Sep 10, 21:25:30 id say HANG the man!! ....if he hadnt already die from german measles.... LMAO!!!
"I'm Juliana ... By: MrTyWebb1. on 08 Sep 10, 19:30:52 "I'm Juliana Mckannis, filling in for Clifford Banes who was way layed by bandits." They wrote something else in the subtitles
The government let ... By: rhfyr91. on 08 Sep 10, 18:23:16 The government let those rafters get killed by those truck pieces!
that Clifford Banes ... By: Xalimata. on 07 Sep 10, 13:09:43 that Clifford Banes is one cool guy
The government let ... By: STEProductions. on 05 Sep 10, 06:08:59 The government let those rafters get killed by those TRUCK PIECES!!!!! ahaha I love the black lady.
@tinamoul Clifford ... By: redstone117. on 03 Sep 10, 20:34:28 @tinamoul Clifford Banes is... the most interesting man in the world
The quality of this ... By: Byrnzi360. on 03 Sep 10, 03:28:22 The quality of this onion news program always deteriorates whenever Clifford Banes isn't hosting it...
@cjgparas3 kk thx ... By: smashingpumkins1595. on 03 Sep 10, 03:05:08 @cjgparas3 kk thx cause i was gunna go to the grand canyon but i got scared from this video so my family went with out me you probably saved my life
@danielknower117 So ... By: ValarMorgoth. on 02 Sep 10, 20:53:35 @danielknower117 So why would you miss a chance to be an idiot yourself, right ?
Clifford Banes has ... By: tinamoul. on 02 Sep 10, 20:18:35 Clifford Banes has one hell of a life.
How in God's name ... By: salvo711. on 02 Sep 10, 19:58:37 How in God's name do they keep straight faces in these videos? Jesus Christ, this is gut-bustingly funny.
"That road was just an exploding truck falling rafting accident waiting to happen!"
"he should of ... By: GrantC25. on 02 Sep 10, 14:10:56 "he should of screamed truck coming"
"THAT'S RIGHT"
Hahaha
i don't often agree ... By: pwnttothemax. on 31 Aug 10, 05:07:13 i don't often agree with the liberal media, but the onion has it dead on with this issue. "truck coming!" should be the new "stop, drop, and roll."
good news everybody ... By: hatecrew77. on 31 Aug 10, 03:22:38 good news everybody, there's now a truck falling into the canyons, early warning system set up on that very road now:D (in some spots)
Truck coming! By: AVLAZZO. on 30 Aug 10, 04:20:07 Truck coming!
"...hauling one ... By: icepickmeetstemple. on 28 Aug 10, 23:22:29 "...hauling one tank of nitrogen and one tank of glycerine". Too funny
they just let them ... By: rachelallencamus. on 27 Aug 10, 04:07:25 they just let them trucks RAIN DOWN!!
Sarah palins book ... By: naphtha132x. on 26 Aug 10, 20:09:40 Sarah palins book XD !!
if he hadnt already ... By: benzieproductions. on 26 Aug 10, 14:48:14 if he hadnt already died from german measles
"herp durpa durp ... By: metalcharger17. on 26 Aug 10, 11:12:26 "herp durpa durp durpa derrrrrrrrr" is what the fat lady sounds like
Hahaha. "Sarah ... By: chickennugget882. on 26 Aug 10, 07:35:27 Hahaha. "Sarah Palin's latest book to focus on the hardships of being useless."
Too much.
@horisbeccham lol By: TotalGraffiti. on 25 Aug 10, 01:14:06 @horisbeccham lol
"truck comin'!" By: horisbeccham. on 23 Aug 10, 16:48:55 "truck comin'!"
The fat lady is ... By: Fitzcard. on 23 Aug 10, 09:15:25 The fat lady is funny, but the black lady is the funniest one of the group always.
1:27 is that Zach ... By: GMG9691. on 03 Sep 10, 00:07:00 1:27 is that Zach Galifianaki, from the hangover?
"should our mayors ... By: newyorkgirlss. on 02 Sep 10, 17:19:38 "should our mayors be really good at sim city"ahahaha
@InquisitorOctarine ... By: partyhardwithme. on 02 Sep 10, 11:30:56 @InquisitorOctarine The actual definition would be Macfags, but i agree.
@kluzer it's bc all ... By: VivekRajcoomar. on 02 Sep 10, 03:04:09 @kluzer it's bc all the "real" news is manufactured and fake.
Making a point of ... By: sheilacow. on 01 Sep 10, 01:17:43 Making a point of talking "at", not "with". I love it XD
lol between two ... By: Sabohaque. on 31 Aug 10, 05:39:57 lol between two ferns
This is probably ... By: LoudmouthSeth. on 31 Aug 10, 02:34:44 This is probably going to be a real thing.
"talk at" ...LMAO By: Rimlit. on 30 Aug 10, 20:37:33 "talk at" ...LMAO
... By: thatshilariousalexis. on 30 Aug 10, 08:02:49 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
It's a shame how ... By: Millennia0007. on 25 Aug 10, 15:42:33 It's a shame how few in numbers us sane Mac users are... there are so many of us who would fucking go to these things every day. -_-
There are 68 angry ... By: InquisitorOctarine. on 25 Aug 10, 03:29:34 There are 68 angry mac fans. :P
Love the bit about ... By: mjc0961. on 25 Aug 10, 03:05:48 Love the bit about the iStore at 1:50.
Is that Sergio from ... By: invincibledinner. on 25 Aug 10, 00:00:52 Is that Sergio from "Sergio's White Hot Top Five" at 0:58?
I am always so ... By: kluzer. on 24 Aug 10, 01:16:53 I am always so amazed at how realistic the Onion makes their news seem.
@kranivore shut up ... By: sturmraist50. on 22 Aug 10, 20:12:09 @kranivore shut up bitch.
Purchase Now from iTunes: http://onion.com/ONN fn6
While other media outlets bring you news as it happens, only the Onion News Network has the power to bring you the news before it happens.
With our state-of-the-art wormhole satellites, we can now transmit Onion News Network broadcasts from the year 2137.
Marriage = Dick + ... By: stoogemoedude. on 07 Sep 10, 20:16:33 Marriage = Dick + Onion?
Kick ass last ... By: AnEnemyToLove. on 07 Sep 10, 13:27:19 Kick ass last Palestinian seems to be winning against last Israeli :D! ... Wait I think I may have missed the point.
@rhfyr91 XD haha oh ... By: LaQuishmia. on 05 Sep 10, 02:59:13 @rhfyr91 XD haha oh is that so?
"DO YOU WANT TO DIE ... By: FallenOneWingedAnge1. on 04 Sep 10, 15:26:53 "DO YOU WANT TO DIE!!?? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! DO YOU WANT TO DIE!!??"
@LaQuishmia yeah... ... By: rhfyr91. on 03 Sep 10, 11:46:19 @LaQuishmia yeah... it is new technology, the rover on mars found an element that makes it possible
@Diaznator argh ok ... By: smashingpumkins1595. on 03 Sep 10, 03:06:40 @Diaznator argh ok off to Somalia argh!
@Sabohaque
that's ... By: jorgeygrecia. on 31 Aug 10, 21:13:59 @Sabohaque
that's because the Onion isn't science fiction, it's science FACT
Onion failed here. ... By: Sabohaque. on 31 Aug 10, 05:35:18 Onion failed here. In science fiction, clothes are supposed to look DUMBER in the future.
@kiuze
Use real ... By: Diaznator. on 31 Aug 10, 03:30:22 @kiuze
Use real playerdownloader and get it for free! pirates unite!
To the people that ... By: darkking365. on 31 Aug 10, 01:38:19 To the people that ask if this is real. Just stop right there. IT'S ALL REAL. Your questions answered. Wilson 2137 for president!
More accurate than ... By: tombstonetom. on 30 Aug 10, 18:50:53 More accurate than FOX
look at the " ... By: xlmfaoshakethat. on 29 Aug 10, 15:51:30 look at the "marriage" sign at 0:27 theres na dick haha
she says, "the gaza ... By: okzsub949. on 29 Aug 10, 01:00:02 she says, "the gaza SCRAP" LoL
@Jh5kRadio
yes, ... By: spongebathe. on 27 Aug 10, 01:37:59 @Jh5kRadio
yes, just get it over with
@nanaforiod
OMG ... By: skulleton. on 25 Aug 10, 03:26:11 @nanaforiod
OMG yes im SURE!!!
@skulleton r u sure? By: nanaforiod. on 24 Aug 10, 20:08:58 @skulleton r u sure?
Stupid iTunes ... By: kiuze. on 23 Aug 10, 15:15:55 Stupid iTunes refuses to sell me this because I live in "wrong" country :-(
Fighting broke out ... By: SpineSifter. on 22 Aug 10, 19:15:36 Fighting broke out between the one remaining Palestinian and the one remaining Israeli.
Hilarious! xD
@FingerBrawl The ... By: Thepocalypse. on 21 Aug 10, 19:30:15 @FingerBrawl The wormhole connects to the future and the future Onion staff send video files through to the present day Onion staff, thus allowing us to see news from the future.
Future looks great, ... By: marcelosinico. on 20 Aug 10, 09:45:16 Future looks great, doesn't it?!
"Do you want to die ... By: DeadWhiteButterflies. on 20 Aug 10, 01:45:18 "Do you want to die!"
*crowd cheers*
"I can't hear you!"
*bigger cheeers all round*
I laughed so hard. XD
OH MY GOD THIS IS ... By: scruffylittledog. on 18 Aug 10, 21:18:37 OH MY GOD THIS IS FAKE AND GAYAAYYY!! OH MY GODD...GO DIE.
(Im a troll! yay)
OMG this is so faek ... By: skulleton. on 18 Aug 10, 20:44:43 OMG this is so faek!!!!!
...Do you want to ... By: silverhawkroman. on 18 Aug 10, 16:44:05 ...Do you want to know more?
i lold the ... By: RomZruleTeHworld. on 10 Sep 10, 07:32:22 i lold the reimagining
well that was ... By: RomZruleTeHworld. on 10 Sep 10, 06:36:30 well that was pointless
rad the captions at ... By: samsocccerboy1. on 10 Sep 10, 02:33:50 rad the captions at the bottom
HILARIOUS!!!! By: MsSillyGoose100. on 09 Sep 10, 21:36:37 HILARIOUS!!!!
@MOPEDBRAD well ... By: tevin3619. on 06 Sep 10, 18:45:54 @MOPEDBRAD well duhh its all satire
"I don't believe ... By: sexyitalian891. on 06 Sep 10, 07:58:30 "I don't believe the filth that is streaming from your lips you cur"
@2676126 yeah ... By: ascortjkk. on 31 Aug 10, 20:48:07 @2676126 yeah especially edward's face after the wolf. the stare is dead end hilarious. HAHAHAHAHA
@ascortjkk haha I ... By: 2676126. on 31 Aug 10, 15:45:20 @ascortjkk haha I laughed so hard when the shirtless guy was running; the camera paused; and then he turned into a wolf.
the Al-Qaeda remake ... By: ascortjkk. on 31 Aug 10, 12:14:32 the Al-Qaeda remake is better than the original twilight
Hamas is Team ... By: Sabohaque. on 31 Aug 10, 05:42:18 Hamas is Team Edward.
I'm gonna say that ... By: YouKnowItsMatt. on 30 Aug 10, 22:53:59 I'm gonna say that one to annoying ass Twilight fans: Osama's Team Jacob.
"if you give them a ... By: berugaslabor. on 30 Aug 10, 19:58:02 "if you give them a chance you will be hooked or my mother is a jew" im still laughting here ten minutes later haha!
osama himself is a ... By: kungfoolai. on 30 Aug 10, 19:05:40 osama himself is a team jacob fan lol
"September 11 once ... By: freakyjoey963. on 29 Aug 10, 15:05:05 "September 11 once again tops list of least popular baby names"
lmao
2:14... that was ... By: airrunwesker. on 29 Aug 10, 00:55:15 2:14... that was sort of hot!
OMG! This is so ... By: MOPEDBRAD. on 28 Aug 10, 11:52:05 OMG! This is so faek!
This made me laugh ... By: MilkChocolateGeese. on 27 Aug 10, 05:59:50 This made me laugh so hard.
Stephenie Meyer ... By: coldbloodedkilla2010. on 27 Aug 10, 03:18:47 Stephenie Meyer never ceases to amaze; She saves the president this time! lol
Finally... ... By: Ilovevidgames123. on 27 Aug 10, 02:12:08 Finally... Stephanie Meyer is good for something.
haha pay attention ... By: RyanWolverton2. on 26 Aug 10, 23:11:35 haha pay attention to the words on the bottom
hahahahaha By: alanmty2046. on 26 Aug 10, 20:01:24 hahahahaha
son of the bitch By: Loyal018. on 25 Aug 10, 13:16:04 son of the bitch
@mindfreakfreak123 ... By: yumbun314. on 24 Aug 10, 19:36:05 @mindfreakfreak123 yup of course
@Gomeshock shut up ... By: sturmraist50. on 22 Aug 10, 20:14:55 @Gomeshock shut up bitch.
So is Twilight for ... By: aflockofmusic2. on 22 Aug 10, 20:13:29 So is Twilight for weird girls and homosexual boys?
great satire. The ... By: gofindyourownawesome. on 31 Aug 10, 00:48:29 great satire. The onion is the best
haha the onion ftw. By: pwnablesam. on 30 Aug 10, 23:21:02 haha the onion ftw.
Anyone else notice ... By: ninjakiwi65. on 30 Aug 10, 22:29:53 Anyone else notice the sort-of-looking 'The Young Turks' anchor at 1:25?
WOW.... who ... By: thedonofnapoli. on 27 Aug 10, 15:35:23 WOW.... who would've thought that Al Qaeda is still a thing?
THE PART CAPSULE? ... By: MsHojat. on 21 Aug 10, 09:15:34 THE PART CAPSULE? WHAT?!
that so gross and ... By: MargaretMcKissic. on 10 Aug 10, 23:05:56 that so gross and funny at the same time!!!!
96,000 pounds i ... By: kernel246. on 10 Aug 10, 17:19:42 96,000 pounds i thought they meant the family theyre fucking huge
Hey, Dishwalla had ... By: Inediblehulk. on 09 Aug 10, 10:25:18 Hey, Dishwalla had a lot of cool songs! There was one about blue cars, then counting something something...and of course, Master of Puppets.
I never laughed so ... By: fastedu1. on 04 Aug 10, 20:41:22 I never laughed so hard in my life
WTF XD By: Rsvloggity. on 04 Aug 10, 18:55:02 WTF XD
"E.Coli still least ... By: terribleluck. on 03 Aug 10, 16:04:10 "E.Coli still least likely way Whartons will die"
this one doesn't ... By: hippydude89. on 01 Aug 10, 16:59:04 this one doesn't seem like their usual parody. This story is extremely believable. The family was from Ohio.
"al qaeda is still ... By: laylanii. on 31 Jul 10, 02:34:16 "al qaeda is still a thing"
holy shit, i have ... By: rhenfield. on 26 Jul 10, 13:01:53 holy shit, i have to try to work "pork capsule" into a conversation.
"id hate to dig up ... By: wek33. on 24 Jul 10, 23:17:20 "id hate to dig up the pork capsule in the backyard unless its totally necessary" LOOOOOL
HaHaHa
Only in ... By: Slaught1004. on 24 Jul 10, 18:51:21 HaHaHa
Only in America!
"He was sweating a ... By: brianwesley28. on 23 Jul 10, 20:23:24 "He was sweating a lot more than usual." LMAO! I would have assumed that the Whartons would have been slightly larger than they are. They must have an extremely high metabolism if they have lost so much mass after 90% of their purchased beef was affected by the recall.
I Want Revenge! bit ... By: jamac911. on 23 Jul 10, 13:00:13 I Want Revenge! bit . ly/jerku
I Want Revenge! bit ... By: jamac911. on 23 Jul 10, 12:59:43 I Want Revenge! bit . ly/jerku
WOW!! 23 meat chili ... By: copperlocks1. on 23 Jul 10, 04:47:33 WOW!! 23 meat chili... the texture must be superb!!...1 ton of meat daily..can i live with that!!..ahh !!! consumption at its finest
At $12.25 an hour ... By: assfax. on 29 Aug 10, 03:21:29 At $12.25 an hour they can talk as long as they want.
Wow, Tracy looks ... By: kokopellifan1. on 24 Aug 10, 19:12:23 Wow, Tracy looks hot.
@wwewrestlingfan417 ... By: ALPHADESIGNTAMPICO. on 17 Aug 10, 05:17:51 @wwewrestlingfan417 Totally agree! That's cause the producers of this show want that! That's why they show a subject with sarcasm. To make people understand by them selfs! ;)
@filipinopride4ever ... By: ukendcx2000. on 22 Jul 10, 03:48:05 @filipinopride4ever i see that someone was paying attention and was not asleep at the wheel, lol ... actually I was referring to the former census workers she was keeping hostage at her crib!
PAs carrying her ... By: vladtheeditor. on 19 Jul 10, 22:41:06 PAs carrying her away made me LOL :)))
LOL i thought it ... By: invisible3steeves. on 19 Jul 10, 00:45:13 LOL i thought it would be like a little fat kid or something
oh, if only i too ... By: Epitzsche. on 18 Jul 10, 11:50:52 oh, if only i too had a team of guys to lift my old folks away like that during a conversation about the damn weather!
@wwewrestlingfan417 ... By: skygrasper091. on 18 Jul 10, 01:04:44 @wwewrestlingfan417 The Onion brings us together like family.....lol
@ukendcx2000
I ... By: filipinopride4ever. on 17 Jul 10, 16:13:40 @ukendcx2000
I think she was referring to the Iran hostage crisis when the US embassy in Tehran was raided by Islamic fundamentalists which was a big story on the news around 1980.
@ukendcx2000 i ... By: 42connorzielinski42. on 11 Jul 10, 06:17:44 @ukendcx2000 i completely agree. in all seriousness, if i didn't know otherwise the onion is indistinguishable from any real news stations. they have "experts", and the interviews seem incredibly realistic. im amazed they can seem so real that half the people who watch them don't realize its a joke.
@martinxy4 most of ... By: ukendcx2000. on 10 Jul 10, 18:26:58 @martinxy4 most of their jokes are as funny as they are because they are so very wrong, it is so un pc to go there these days which is why I think people assume it is real, because no one wants to think that anyone would go as far as Onion does to create humor
@martinxy4 you ... By: ukendcx2000. on 10 Jul 10, 18:25:26 @martinxy4 you didn't get the reference. I know it is a joke, I am just saying it's f* up they had that woman being a shut in for 30 years.
@wwewrestlingfan417 ... By: farcus12. on 09 Jul 10, 08:09:23 @wwewrestlingfan417 cuz they try to act smart
A troubling national report finds an increasing number of parents have found strange pipes, herbs, and other implements of shamanic activity in their teenagers' bedrooms.
this is funny as ... By: HeyGidz. on 10 Sep 10, 03:45:22 this is funny as shit
@TrippMan666 You're ... By: DJJazzyFlashBooty. on 09 Sep 10, 21:22:19 @TrippMan666 You're an absolute moron. They're making fun of the "Nazi Bastards" as you call them.
That's what ONN has always done.
You really sound like you have no clue what you're talking about.
... By: Rsage. on 09 Sep 10, 08:12:42 ROOOOFLFORRLFROFLROFRLORFL
@Fraidnaught ... By: 7255202. on 09 Sep 10, 07:34:55 @Fraidnaught Seriously? I love the taste of pot mixed with chocolate. How could you not like magic browines or potchocolate?
@TrippMan666 THEYRE ... By: DJJazzyFlashBooty. on 08 Sep 10, 21:08:38 @TrippMan666 THEYRE KIDDING YOU FUCKING IDIOT.
At first I stopped ... By: JFMello1116. on 07 Sep 10, 02:24:43 At first I stopped and laughed at how oblivious some people must be to put a video like this on the news, but then I saw it was from The Onion and felt much better.
Look guys, ... By: Fraidnaught. on 06 Sep 10, 05:04:45 Look guys, Shamanism is no joke, my cousin used to bake the best brownies, then she started experimenting with Shamanism, from that point on her brownies tasted AWFUL.
im a shomen and i ... By: mexisawsome. on 06 Sep 10, 01:17:11 im a shomen and i have a wond
Ohhh, ... coyote,.. ... By: dumoulin11. on 06 Sep 10, 00:59:01 Ohhh, ... coyote,... that's who I have to thank. lol
@ ... By: guanjon. on 04 Sep 10, 11:48:01 @brandonplaysguitar16 4/10 for trying.
MF DOOM IS GOOD ... By: guanjon. on 04 Sep 10, 11:45:58 MF DOOM IS GOOD SHAMAN MUSIC
this a joke? By: xist522. on 04 Sep 10, 06:46:25 this a joke?
roflmao. I guess im ... By: Taker331. on 03 Sep 10, 18:41:23 roflmao. I guess im a shaman with a very big wand then. Legalize shamanic rituals haha
"So I sent him to ... By: Valicore. on 02 Sep 10, 17:19:18 "So I sent him to military school, but there he became possesed by the Trickster God Coyote, who makes boys wanna kiss other boys!" "Oh, Coyote is very swift!" LMFFAOLOLOL
... By: awsomerest756. on 02 Sep 10, 01:37:43 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
@ ... By: frikken20. on 02 Sep 10, 01:19:55 @brandonplaysguitar16 you cant seriously think this is real
i think it was ... By: MrBongsmurf. on 01 Sep 10, 23:43:55 i think it was from that very? swift coyote and i have to say i was spirit? walking my self
this was thee ... By: MrBongsmurf. on 01 Sep 10, 23:39:06 this was thee funniest thing i have ever seen and i saw a 300 lb stoned dude run like it was for his life and a drunk retared dude right after em
Watch out for that ... By: GaijinGDB. on 31 Aug 10, 12:52:35 Watch out for that Coyote god!
Don't turn me over ... By: tarantulady. on 30 Aug 10, 19:18:47 Don't turn me over to the Dream Eaters!!!
@ ... By: tarantulady. on 30 Aug 10, 19:17:47 @brandonplaysguitar16 Yeah... It's "The Onion". Also, I don't know how this wasn't obvious to you as a parody.
what's an asgard ... By: cheeseboy340. on 29 Aug 10, 21:12:01 what's an asgard doing sitting on a shroom?
"If you walk into ... By: Carolene76. on 29 Aug 10, 05:35:27 "If you walk into your teens' room and you see him sitting there in a cloud of smoke his eyes all blooshot, then you know that he is in a shamans trance!"
We get a good amount of shamanism going around in these parts. XD
it proves theyre ... By: SnowyDaysAlways. on 26 Aug 10, 21:19:24 it proves theyre pot heads lolz
The paper says the new personalized articles target the interests of Massachusetts residents and final three Globe readers Michael Fisher, Camille Kresge, and Buddy.
the Spinosaur is ... By: dumoulin11. on 06 Sep 10, 00:54:33 the Spinosaur is the most awesome dinosaur
The freeking raptor ... By: Chibikyon13. on 19 Aug 10, 07:12:23 The freeking raptor is the most awesome dinosaur!!! XD
I mean Kyra ... By: Inediblehulk. on 09 Aug 10, 13:23:13 I mean Kyra Phillips. Whoops. Hope that IS her name...
I had to watch this ... By: Inediblehulk. on 09 Aug 10, 11:16:01 I had to watch this twice because I was dumbfounded by how well this woman does Kiera Knightley! Couldn't hear words, just very familiar tones. All the Onion actors are pretty spot on, but this may take the cake!
@muffinman9311 A T. ... By: Inediblehulk. on 09 Aug 10, 11:07:11 @muffinman9311 A T. Rex killed my uncle just for looking at him funny. One punch. Didn't even eat him. Gave him to some scrawny, homeless Allosaur out of pity, if I remember correctly. Then boned my aunt and rode off in his Camarro blasting Deep Purple. THAT'S what was so special about T. Rex!
Allosaurus is the ... By: muffinman9311. on 23 Jul 10, 13:44:53 Allosaurus is the most awesome dinosaur period. T-Rex is way overrated. Tell me what's so special about a t Rex. It didn't actually kill anything it just ate what others had killed.
Ok, WHAT?! I go to ... By: green4strings. on 16 Jul 10, 06:35:50 Ok, WHAT?! I go to Newton High School and we ARE putting on a stage performance of Annie!!! WTF?!
@TheLastBaroness ... By: ptboi42. on 12 Jul 10, 20:58:50 @TheLastBaroness Dont we all? xD
Sadly what they say ... By: Killumanatic. on 04 Jul 10, 12:46:41 Sadly what they say about the Chicago Tribune isn't that far off from the truth
hey im a subscriber ... By: FathomLordKarathr. on 30 Jun 10, 01:51:16 hey im a subscriber for the boson globe
I have a ... By: TimeQueenofRome. on 29 Jun 10, 20:34:36 I have a subscription to the Washington Post. I really like how they deliver me my news on hot fluffy pancakes with a side of bacon. I think I am supposed to absorb the newstrients that are in those Washington Postcakes.
I am wondering who ... By: 78UNKNOWN. on 27 Jun 10, 06:25:28 I am wondering who at the Globe pissed The Onion off
Beware, The ... By: CrashtUnBurned. on 26 Jun 10, 15:36:41 Beware, The Homosexual Agenda is Coming
I loved that Jumble. XD
@revizcaino do you ... By: adarkenedmind. on 26 Jun 10, 07:15:31 @revizcaino do you really think a newspaper would still be in business if it had only 3 readers?
Don't wear white, ... By: yogeedogee. on 24 Jun 10, 01:58:48 Don't wear white, if you read the Boston Globe. The black ink stains are permanent.
I want a news ... By: TheLastBaroness. on 23 Jun 10, 08:38:28 I want a news pancake. D:
@zosko1 you mean ... By: bbphnix. on 23 Jun 10, 00:56:31 @zosko1 you mean ankylosaur? OMGOSH..... the one with the stone in its tale... do some research and know some things about dinosaurs....
@BensCrazyVideos ... By: bbphnix. on 23 Jun 10, 00:55:30 @BensCrazyVideos obviously because of the internet... that's where they got their inspiration.... you know, I do wonder, what will be the fate of newspapers given the internet, the TV, the Radio, the efforts to stop cutting trees?
@elilla331 hahahaha By: pixbyeli. on 22 Jun 10, 22:43:11 @elilla331 hahahaha
That is so awesome! By: Trademark888. on 22 Jun 10, 20:18:13 That is so awesome!
the fluffy pancake ... By: holonat. on 22 Jun 10, 17:43:52 the fluffy pancake news is a great idea lol XD
@NavinJohnson90 ... By: SgtHydra. on 21 Jun 10, 18:54:54 @NavinJohnson90 Utahraptor only wishes it were as cool as T-Rex.
The bipartisan group of representatives who submitted the emergency bill late last night say they stand by it, though they don't completely remember all of the details.
its not like the ... By: BALJIT147. on 09 Sep 10, 23:09:03 its not like the government has more important things to do
I-Hop is already ... By: GenericNameBeta. on 09 Sep 10, 01:24:16 I-Hop is already open all night
I support this bill. By: Khyrid. on 07 Sep 10, 16:08:45 I support this bill.
@realdad32 Ha ha. ... By: Blastaarrocks. on 05 Sep 10, 21:33:52 @realdad32 Ha ha. Good reply.
@Blastaarrocks ... By: realdad32. on 05 Sep 10, 21:16:55 @Blastaarrocks congress isnt really like this? are you sure?
Now if Congress was ... By: Blastaarrocks. on 03 Sep 10, 01:01:56 Now if Congress was really liked this C-SPAN would have as many viewers as American Idol.
@vleon1012 It's ... By: MoreGilmour. on 02 Sep 10, 22:04:04 @vleon1012 It's fake, this vid is from 'The Onion'
What is the music ... By: mec567. on 25 Aug 10, 00:24:15 What is the music in the end at 2:10?
I swear, I don't ... By: mec567. on 23 Aug 10, 10:25:09 I swear, I don't know anything about politics, I laugh my ass off at this all the time.
"Can you turn the lights down please?" LOL! I love the Onion, so much win.
Excellent political ... By: cqsr63. on 10 Aug 10, 13:15:47 Excellent political humor!
My sides are ... By: Inediblehulk. on 09 Aug 10, 11:42:01 My sides are hurting so bad! It was a Crown Royal night in Washington for sure! "I dunno how that got there.." Nelson rocks!
In a way the Onion ... By: mmmmmarcus. on 03 Aug 10, 08:14:36 In a way the Onion is fake. In a way it;s disturbingly real.
@miklause: haha ... By: crazedmongoose2003. on 27 Jul 10, 05:36:07 @miklause: haha it's a lemon slice from a drink I think
I Want Revenge! bit ... By: navyguywandell. on 25 Jul 10, 02:59:02 I Want Revenge! bit . ly/jerku
what the hell is ... By: vleon1012. on 23 Jul 10, 05:44:39 what the hell is this who would even bring up such a ridiculous bill
This comment will ... By: outerspit55. on 22 Jul 10, 05:54:57 This comment will get no thumps up.
Ain't this how they ... By: TheASEmaster. on 20 Jul 10, 08:12:49 Ain't this how they pass all laws???
@miklause Looks ... By: TurMoiL911. on 18 Jul 10, 16:20:13 @miklause Looks like an old lime.
Well it probably ... By: muffinman9311. on 18 Jul 10, 04:09:20 Well it probably isn't even that much.
is the dawn man ... By: miklause. on 17 Jul 10, 11:45:29 is the dawn man holding a condom at 1:05?
@Clay3613 They were ... By: TheIr0nMike. on 15 Jul 10, 16:27:55 @Clay3613 They were shit faced the night before.
Finally, government ... By: legoman762005. on 14 Jul 10, 00:31:55 Finally, government getting something done!
@27131023156807 you ... By: angelbabe415. on 10 Sep 10, 07:34:22 @27131023156807 you need to re-read your bible. or watch mrs. betty bowers, America's best Christian.
@27131023156807 And ... By: newcoyote. on 10 Sep 10, 05:57:50 @27131023156807 And that is a perfect example of how religion poisons minds. To make absurd rationalizations like that is disgusting. Good bye.
@newcoyote The ... By: 27131023156807. on 10 Sep 10, 03:30:28 @newcoyote The bible condemns rape. Female war captives were given rights of wives. They were given housing, time to mourn, and allowed to divorce without mistreatment. Biblical slavery was not the same as todays. In that culture, slavery was equivalent to servitude with the rights of servants. This was an accepted practice far different? from today's view of slavery. It was not based on racism, sex, or cheap labour.
@27131023156807 ... By: newcoyote. on 10 Sep 10, 02:42:52 @27131023156807 Then why is it condoned in the bible? So is slavery.
@newcoyote Rape is ... By: 27131023156807. on 10 Sep 10, 02:16:05 @newcoyote Rape is an example of absolute moral, a sin that cannot be justified. I'm not sure I understand what you mean by saying it is fundamental as immorally as it gets.
@Sarevok12778 and ... By: TasteLikeSushi. on 10 Sep 10, 02:09:00 @Sarevok12778 and that is? I'm not a christian basher, but I want to be clear on what you meant.
This is brilliant. By: MagicMono10. on 09 Sep 10, 23:00:03 This is brilliant.
I find it funny ... By: Sarevok12778. on 09 Sep 10, 09:13:26 I find it funny that all you christian bashers will sit here and attack any mention of God in your schools, but would willingly submit to the most radical religion currently on the face of the planet.
@27131023156807 ... By: newcoyote. on 09 Sep 10, 04:41:08 @27131023156807 Because it is false. Christianity has no clue what "Moral" is. It is fundamental as immorally as it gets. Have you read the bible? I have. I paid attention when I read it.
@newcoyote What's ... By: 27131023156807. on 09 Sep 10, 03:41:57 @newcoyote What's so absurd about believing in absolute morals and how to live righteously?
maybe people should ... By: GreenThumbMomma. on 07 Sep 10, 21:11:17 maybe people should consider the issue of what sort of school they want their kids to go to and what they want them to learn there BEFORE they have kids...if you have strong values, you can pay for a private school that coincides with your personal beliefs or *gasp!* homeschool your kids. can't afford it? don't have the time? might wanna consider birth control ~ otherwise it's like the old saying goes: "beggers can't be choosers"
@atrejunl I think ... By: 13Yeared. on 06 Sep 10, 21:36:45 @atrejunl I think that the end of the world would be caused by ourselves, personally.
I've studied parts ... By: aashapa. on 06 Sep 10, 21:16:21 I've studied parts of the bible, and the seven headed monster mentioned in the vid is what Paul calls the leviathan after experiencing a vision, but bear with me, if you lived in the year 30 A.D., and you were given a vision of the future, say 2000 years into the future, how would you describe a nuclear submarine surfacing and launching seven nuclear missiles, a helicopter spewing bullets onto a battlefield drenched in blood, or just amphibious transports coming ashore and dropping of troops?
@13Yeared Like what ... By: aashapa. on 06 Sep 10, 21:03:43 @13Yeared Like what teachings?
@greatsea Thank you ... By: aashapa. on 06 Sep 10, 21:00:49 @greatsea Thank you Robert Frost
i find it so funny ... By: stannard6. on 06 Sep 10, 11:44:30 i find it so funny how this channel the onion is a piss take, yet people still argue about the debate :')
religion is a mental illness get over it lad
They should also ... By: MasterAdam100. on 05 Sep 10, 18:51:23 They should also teach Astrology alongside Astronomy, Numerology with Mathematics and Alchemy with Chemistry. It's only fair. Right Chirstians?
"MTV scientists ... By: vikingsreturn. on 04 Sep 10, 17:01:52 "MTV scientists have discovered a previously unfilmed species of asshole." holy shiiiiiit hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
If the world ever ... By: JonasC22. on 04 Sep 10, 14:16:24 If the world ever does come to an end it'll be cause by the religiously disturbed, not because of their sky daddy.
Cults are the bane of humanity.
I really wouldn't ... By: checkunderyourbed. on 03 Sep 10, 23:14:00 I really wouldn't have trouble believing this as a real news story. What people teach kids is really fucked up!
@atrejunl you're ... By: RYENOT13. on 03 Sep 10, 01:48:08 @atrejunl you're dumb guy, wake up
@d4m4s74
Global ... By: DarkZerkerX. on 03 Sep 10, 00:00:29 @d4m4s74
Global Warming is a legitimate theory. Biblical...well anything biblical is a load of...well here's a word. It's...supercrapafuckarificexplialabullshit.
of course its in ... By: MegaGRated. on 02 Sep 10, 22:46:23 of course its in Kansas
Some say the world ... By: greatsea. on 02 Sep 10, 21:46:28 Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction
Ice is also great
And would suffice.
3-4 years for a TOY! By: RomZruleTeHworld. on 10 Sep 10, 06:48:20 3-4 years for a TOY!
dont give them ... By: Clown5336. on 10 Sep 10, 04:21:49 dont give them ideas what the hell onion
They should make ... By: HiLoPicoLo. on 09 Sep 10, 23:59:20 They should make the 'ringing' while making a phone call an advertisement =P
I wonder how pop ... By: atyeclipse. on 09 Sep 10, 19:13:52 I wonder how pop out come out when talking on the phone.....and then we have option to close it or not...hahah XD
take her on the ... By: hempartist420. on 09 Sep 10, 12:02:47 take her on the vacation of her dreams lol
youtube you fucking ... By: hempartist420. on 09 Sep 10, 12:00:08 youtube you fucking ad slut
why is everyone ... By: qface64. on 09 Sep 10, 05:31:57 why is everyone always complaining about google and all the ads on youtube?
i mean you guys do realize those ads are keeping youtube up and running or what would you prefer they just go the megavideo route....
@sithioth i know! ... By: eatmytool1. on 09 Sep 10, 02:52:12 @sithioth i know! and now that they'll be whispering ads in your ear...we're all screwed! but im still excited to get this new app for my iphone...
I used to like ... By: sithioth. on 08 Sep 10, 22:50:54 I used to like google.... but now they're just complete SHIT. and now they're shitting on youtube XD
@Kriedley Knowing ... By: consumptionof. on 08 Sep 10, 20:42:15 @Kriedley Knowing Yahoo the phone will probably try to finish your sentences for you.
my google phone ... By: DeathBringer9000. on 08 Sep 10, 18:44:32 my google phone keeps telling me to kill my neighbors
@Mcheetah
OR even ... By: slayer66616. on 08 Sep 10, 18:42:34 @Mcheetah
OR even better Addblock plus. for a long time i didn't even know there were adds on videos on YT.
@marioaleal I'm ... By: Ondori412. on 08 Sep 10, 16:39:07 @marioaleal I'm glad that you composed yourself, it would be a shame had you have fallen over :(
I nearly fell over ... By: marioaleal. on 08 Sep 10, 16:17:42 I nearly fell over laughing...nearly.
Wonder if the ... By: Kriedley. on 07 Sep 10, 20:38:42 Wonder if the YPhone will do that too...
haha previously ... By: salthillstudios. on 07 Sep 10, 10:33:21 haha previously unknown state
I fuckin' hate ... By: Scooter2k. on 05 Sep 10, 14:37:07 I fuckin' hate advertising!
Perfect-o... ha ha By: HoneiiDiiva. on 04 Sep 10, 06:12:40 Perfect-o... ha ha
they've already ... By: muffinsNsausage. on 03 Sep 10, 22:40:45 they've already integrated this feature into youtube
@Realus7 Shhh! ... By: Krazeel. on 03 Sep 10, 14:09:22 @Realus7 Shhh! Google & ad companies need never to know about it.
I would be willing ... By: bloodySunday77. on 03 Sep 10, 00:39:30 I would be willing to bet they are actually considering doing that, minus the emergency call gone wrong and using the contact list to make automated spam calls. They think they have the right to include everything they can think of with their free services...
I used to know ... By: MrGish1. on 02 Sep 10, 16:40:17 I used to know Jenkins who is Spanish. WHAT!
Mcheetah. youre the ... By: Ldunathan. on 01 Sep 10, 21:22:49 Mcheetah. youre the fucking man. i will forever be indebted to you for that advice.
@benakitodits u ... By: reejaw2. on 01 Sep 10, 09:13:43 @benakitodits u gronk its not real lol
@benakitodits Dude. ... By: AWeoWeo808. on 01 Sep 10, 06:18:13 @benakitodits Dude... lol its not real dumb ass
The former third party presidential candidate returns to helm 'The Cressbeckler Stance' and sound off on flannel-mouthed liars from Washington to Wall Street.
He's going to have ... By: awdrifter3. on 09 Sep 10, 21:54:49 He's going to have some competition from Basil Marceaux.com.
@Curiner Yeah, good ... By: jevicci. on 09 Sep 10, 13:55:10 @Curiner Yeah, good point!
Who gave my dad his ... By: ItsTheWooo. on 09 Sep 10, 06:08:05 Who gave my dad his own tv show? DADDY THATS YOU? FINALLY EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOUR WISDOM.
@jevicci what is ... By: Curiner. on 09 Sep 10, 03:47:22 @jevicci what is wrong with people is the reason the Onion exists, basically to ask what the fuck is wrong with people.
Sad thing is this ... By: ccdj504. on 09 Sep 10, 03:06:02 Sad thing is this guy has a good chance of getting his own show.
Glenn beck in 20 ... By: TheIntJuggler. on 08 Sep 10, 21:05:45 Glenn beck in 20 years.
I would absolutely ... By: Bnjolly. on 08 Sep 10, 05:56:36 I would absolutely watch this show if it were real. My only complaint is that Cressbeckler refers to Obama as "that black president", which I found unrealistic--a guy like this would have no problem using the word "nigger".
she's pretty for a ... By: Blightmouth. on 06 Sep 10, 16:13:12 she's pretty for a chinese! hahaha!
Ok, that was simply ... By: stephenhollingsworth. on 06 Sep 10, 03:19:39 Ok, that was simply great! Hope The Onion does more with him.
"I just wanted to ... By: samsullithegenius. on 05 Sep 10, 03:29:28 "I just wanted to vote for someone who looked like he could drown a bag of cats."
I'll be the first in line for this guy's book.
@jevicci they are ... By: Mistabutts. on 04 Sep 10, 19:27:15 @jevicci they are stupid. :) simple as.
News corp is in ... By: fuwad84. on 04 Sep 10, 05:11:02 News corp is in talks to give this guy his own channel.
what a dumbass By: crunkaholic81. on 04 Sep 10, 03:08:45 what a dumbass
540 dislikes??? ... By: jevicci. on 02 Sep 10, 15:24:46 540 dislikes??? This is some of the most well-conceived/executed comedy/satire on the planet. What the heck's wrong with people!?
Funniest thing on ... By: underfoil. on 01 Sep 10, 19:21:00 Funniest thing on the enternet.
I know the Onion is ... By: NB180. on 01 Sep 10, 00:13:48 I know the Onion is spoof and all... but this seems so REAL!
so yeah, we want a ... By: punxuntilwedie. on 31 Aug 10, 05:15:59 so yeah, we want a weekly video of this great man.....
shes pretty for a ... By: AndyDrewww. on 28 Aug 10, 09:12:28 shes pretty for a chinese
wait i think this ... By: ProffesorChaosesFile. on 26 Aug 10, 16:26:38 wait i think this is real i mean doesn't it follow glenn beck and go before o'rielly
OMFG!!!
this.
is.
... By: jerbas. on 23 Aug 10, 03:11:24 OMFG!!!
this.
is.
hilarious!!
@TheBibleIsLame
... By: tomatooverlord. on 20 Aug 10, 22:21:54 @TheBibleIsLame
and present-day conservatives.
Glenn Becks' ... By: adamsfall. on 20 Aug 10, 12:28:47 Glenn Becks' Grandpaw.
I would seriously ... By: wolfhoundj08. on 17 Aug 10, 19:36:56 I would seriously watch a news show hosted by this guy.
We need more ... By: Thepocalypse. on 17 Aug 10, 13:41:14 We need more Cressbeckler.
@TheBibleIsLame NO U By: MindlessGlitch. on 15 Aug 10, 16:09:19 @TheBibleIsLame NO U
Organizers say until there is absolute acceptance of breastfeeding, nursing moms must vigilantly expose their swollen, milk-sodden breasts everywhere from community cookouts to the local hardware store.
@kurtney94 Don't ... By: outlier1985. on 06 Sep 10, 05:58:06 @kurtney94 Don't forget to add AIDS and DICKANTS to that list, while you're at it.
Tracy is a sex ... By: javonoUTube. on 05 Sep 10, 23:21:10 Tracy is a sex Goddess
@l14mh3nr9 Hey I'm ... By: henrysbaby08. on 05 Sep 10, 04:29:46 @l14mh3nr9 Hey I'm a woman and other than the kitchen joke i agree with you. i dont wanna see other women's boobies at taco bell and its really stupid for them to get pissed when a guy or kid happens to look. feminists suck
sounds about like ... By: henrysbaby08. on 05 Sep 10, 04:27:40 sounds about like half the moms on cafemom. i dont have a problem with breastfeeding, but use a blanket or something. taking a crap is natural too, but i don't wanna see you crap at taco bell, ok?
american women are ... By: killerhaz0. on 01 Sep 10, 11:22:45 american women are weird!
haha...yoplait will ... By: thecommentmonster. on 30 Aug 10, 16:35:42 haha...yoplait will make you lose weight...baloney!
anyone ever heard of high fructose corn syrup? or leptin?
I'm a new father ... By: rcwilson20081. on 29 Aug 10, 05:23:24 I'm a new father and my wife is breastfeeding and I do not mind her feeding I'm public as long as she puts a blanket over her self and the women that just leave their breast hanging out while the breast feed is not gross in any way I just think their disrespecting their selves and just trying to get attention because they know every man on this plant loves breast and there going to stare there is no way around it
Great vid, I ... By: hobogirl1254. on 28 Aug 10, 05:45:42 Great vid, I actually saw this on another site (embeded) and had to check it out, laughed my butt off, seems real in the beginnning.
I dont have a problem with mothers breastfeeding, that said, I still dont want to watch. Go to a restroom, or at the very least put a fucking blanket over your goddamned self. Have the decency to be respectful of everyone else. Go do it in your car for all I care, but dont just whip it out and give them a sip.
As for the topic of ... By: l14mh3nr9. on 27 Aug 10, 01:49:29 As for the topic of the video, all jokes aside, if women want the right to breastfeed in public, us men want the right to be able to glance in their general direction without being scorned at. If you are going to sit down on a public seat and whip out your big rack, we are going to take a good fucking look. Don't like it? Get back to your house, bitch. More specifically: the kitchen.
@kurtney94 Are you ... By: l14mh3nr9. on 27 Aug 10, 01:43:05 @kurtney94 Are you fucking joking? Breast milk is what babies are, you know, SUPPOSED to be fed, naturally. Like, after the millions of years of evolution, that is the perfect substance that humans have developed to feed their offspring. You have been reading WAY too much Daily Mail.
@McCloudster0015 ... By: BurningSuburbs. on 24 Aug 10, 22:49:10 @McCloudster0015 haha the onion news is a joke :3
@GeGeMus12 freak By: mrapter7. on 23 Aug 10, 01:08:31 @GeGeMus12 freak
@kepukaii thats ... By: jargainjones. on 22 Aug 10, 01:13:54 @kepukaii thats true haha it looks just like her. see the fraud is everywhere.
Dude i just sat ... By: gandumaster69. on 21 Aug 10, 21:41:11 Dude i just sat next to a mom on a plane in coach who did this. It is NOT FUCKING OK! I kept seeing her out of the corner of my eye looking at me to make sure i wasn't some kind of pervert looking at her tits. YEA LIKE SHES THE VICTIM and im the weirdo. Unless you are a fucking stripper this is not ok, mothers are not infallable holy beings. That shit, especially for guys makes life super fucking awkward in a world where we are constantly on our toes for sexual harrassment anyway.fuckuppitymoms
lol...the T-Shirts. ... By: grenadebiter. on 20 Aug 10, 19:48:37 lol...the T-Shirts...
i love this, i ... By: marvelous2055. on 20 Aug 10, 07:07:29 i love this, i wanna work for them.
crap! now i'll ... By: AZORBYD. on 19 Aug 10, 02:57:37 crap! now i'll never know 5 ways a stripper can rob me! lmao!....breastfeeding in public huh? yeah i think im ok with it...wish i could say the same with the stripper
Usually funny, but ... By: InuzukaCds. on 16 Aug 10, 23:31:58 Usually funny, but this one grossed em out...
Goddamn! I dont ... By: McCloudster0015. on 16 Aug 10, 11:32:18 Goddamn! I dont really care for the issue of public breastfeeding, I not going to hope theres a woman just breastfeeding. I'm definitely not discourage it though. Reading the comments, I can believe that this show isnt so much of an icon cuz that advocate is over her top... I mean over the top
Its laura pruden ... By: kepukaii. on 16 Aug 10, 04:28:23 Its laura pruden from the vonage comercial
"FannnnTASTIC" lol By: pfunkle. on 16 Aug 10, 01:31:27 "FannnnTASTIC" lol
yeah whats the ... By: kaneis01. on 13 Aug 10, 23:03:40 yeah whats the problem if mothers breast feed in public? id love to watch. shit ill even dive in and suck some for myself, or pull my cock out and let her suck my dick whiles shes breast feeding her baby. whats wrong with that? thats healthy too u know, plus the woman will get vitamins for the more nutritious milk. think about it after your done breast feeding dont even wear a bra or shirt cause ive already seen your tits might as well just leave them out and about
Boobs are a part of ... By: SgtGizmo23. on 13 Aug 10, 05:33:25 Boobs are a part of America. Like warm apple pie
I for one am ... By: pierre1024. on 12 Aug 10, 16:57:35 I for one am totally in acceptance of her breastfeeding! Who wouldn't be?
This spring on the Onion News Network '08 Presidential candidate and unabashed straight-shooter Joad Cressbeckler returns to tackle today's toughest issues. America's Goin' Joad.
Best Fox News ... By: ToxicOdiousOne. on 14 Jul 10, 20:11:54 Best Fox News anchor ever! Show em black baby. Gotta love CressBeckler.
HEYYYYYY that's DJ ... By: iluvwhtchix. on 02 Jul 10, 08:04:59 HEYYYYYY that's DJ Nuss from the vistaprint commercial
Joad Cressbeckler. ... By: Mcheetah. on 19 Jun 10, 02:35:18 Joad Cressbeckler. FUCK YEAH!!!
Cresbeckler sounds ... By: WebsKeeper. on 07 Jun 10, 13:48:43 Cresbeckler sounds like a little more like Glenn Beck. O.o Their names rhymes a little =)
Cresbeckler sounds ... By: WebsKeeper. on 07 Jun 10, 13:48:15 Cresbeckler sounds like a little more like Glenn Beck. O.o Their names rhymes a little =)
PLEASE DONT READ ... By: fairycute97. on 05 Jun 10, 06:09:13 PLEASE DONT READ THIS.? YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE?? FRIDAY? BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. TOMORROW?? WILL? BE? THE BEST? DAY OF? YOUR? LIFE. HOWEVER IF? YOU DONT? POST THIS COMMENT? something bad will happen. NOW UV? STARTED? READIN DIS DUNT? STOP? THIS IS? SO SCARY.??? SEND? THIS TO 5? VIDEOS?? IN 143 MINUTES?? WHEN UR DONE PRESS F6 AND UR CRUSHES? NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN? IN BIG? LETTERS.? THIS IS SO SCARY CAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS? THIS ACTUALLY WORKS
PLEASE DONT READ ... By: fairycute97. on 05 Jun 10, 06:08:27 PLEASE DONT READ THIS.? YOU WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE?? FRIDAY? BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. TOMORROW?? WILL? BE? THE BEST? DAY OF? YOUR? LIFE. HOWEVER IF? YOU DONT? POST THIS COMMENT? something bad will happen. NOW UV? STARTED? READIN DIS DUNT? STOP? THIS IS? SO SCARY.??? SEND? THIS TO 5? VIDEOS?? IN 143 MINUTES?? WHEN UR DONE PRESS F6 AND UR CRUSHES? NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN? IN BIG? LETTERS.? THIS IS SO SCARY CAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS? THIS ACTUALLY WORKS
More Cressbeckler By: SKB266. on 26 May 10, 20:45:26 More Cressbeckler
@m2b1986 Wal, ... By: YERaFUGNmoron. on 20 May 10, 21:31:09 @m2b1986 Wal, sounds like yer one o' them smarty-pants, college-ejicated sarcastic little bush wranglers, but lemme tell you sumpin right now: I'll take me a dimes wortha common sense over a dollars wortha book-learnin' any day o' the week! You probably don't even know where the speed traps are in this town, do yuh, kid?
[this dialog provided from actual excerpt of what some Alabama cracker said to me back when I drove trucks cross-country in my college days. I LOVE these guys!]
This is awesome, ... By: indyguy101. on 18 May 10, 19:17:12 This is awesome, more of them please!
YOU'RE ON HIS ... By: outsidepers. on 17 May 10, 10:35:03 YOU'RE ON HIS PROPERTY NOW!
@thenorthside01
er ... By: missiworld. on 15 May 10, 19:37:23 @thenorthside01
er, Sarah Palin.
@DasHelm ROFL!
... By: Serafinos. on 15 May 10, 00:16:59 @DasHelm ROFL!
We're standing next to DasHelm! LOLOL
I love O'Riley ... ... By: thenorthside01. on 12 May 10, 16:31:41 I love O'Riley ... er Cressbeckler!
reminds me of judge ... By: scrappyduke. on 11 May 10, 11:04:04 reminds me of judge judy a little
My kinda guy! By: 3martijns. on 11 May 10, 05:47:02 My kinda guy!
OMG, you can not ... By: DasHelm. on 10 May 10, 23:46:51 OMG, you can not leave me hanging like this. ONION! You hear me! You can't do this to me!
@Smullet90
I see ... By: KrissWalterKovacs. on 10 May 10, 21:00:19 @Smullet90
I see it Huck and palin in the "election" part. lol glenn has a show and this is a "show" lolololloollool
my vote might be ... By: Dreadfultime. on 10 May 10, 14:26:37 my vote might be going for the bear...
@daleastar Drugged? ... By: SageofHistory. on 10 May 10, 05:10:16 @daleastar Drugged? I've never been more happily sober. As for Islam sorting me out, Bush's presidency had more Islamic Terrorist Attacks on American soil than in the Clinton and Obama years combined. I think I'll take my chances sucker. I'm super-satisfied with progress, the corporate terrorists are the ones I fear, and the government's foot is on their neck, right where it belongs.
I wish this was real By: Indoril5. on 10 May 10, 03:30:44 I wish this was real
@KrissWalterKovacs ... By: Smullet90. on 10 May 10, 00:33:07 @KrissWalterKovacs
i'm pretty sure it's supposed to be huckabee or sarah palin. but it sounds a bit like glenn beck lol.
i new it glenn beck ... By: KrissWalterKovacs. on 09 May 10, 18:57:30 i new it glenn beck lol
omg i can't wait By: GreatWaldoneous. on 09 May 10, 14:42:19 omg i can't wait
Live O-SPAN coverage of the 75th annual dinner with a special awards presentation to the crew who tirelessly buffed every inch of the White House State Floor this past winter.
@barta13 I cant ... By: Rahavin1. on 03 Sep 10, 07:34:29 @barta13 I cant believe he was being serious. Not everyone can type sarcasm well... this guy does sound like a retard, sure... but I cant believe that anyone can be that dumb. If so, lets just elect a Southern Methodist and be done with it.... oh, wait
@Robert111 again; ... By: barta13. on 14 Aug 10, 12:47:45 @Robert111 again; FAKE!
These Democrates ... By: Robert111. on 31 Jul 10, 07:14:02 These Democrates and Obamites are out of control! The Obama White House doesn't need that big staff and taxpayers SHOULD NOT be paying for those big fancy parties for the maintenance staff! Outrageous! We need fiscal minded conservatives in there that are God fearing and loved by God that haven't become liberalized by going to school or learning to hate God!
I thought the stuff ... By: MurasakiYugata. on 16 Jul 10, 18:16:24 I thought the stuff about Glenn Nickles was in poor taste....
You can't help but ... By: TimThomason. on 28 Jun 10, 04:24:26 You can't help but to applaud when Coleman mentions the smooth transition into new protocols for coordined-off pedestrian areas during external window seasonal services
Personally,I'd ... By: apk1215. on 14 Jun 10, 08:18:24 Personally,I'd prefer that the custodians lead the nation.
Janeane Garofolo is ... By: CJKpi. on 11 Jun 10, 20:29:07 Janeane Garofolo is an idiot!
The Onion deserves better than her!
HAHA! SPRING ... By: TCandFriends2. on 08 Jun 10, 00:29:22 HAHA! SPRING ACTIVATED DRAG BARROW! xD
Obama hopes to ... By: AcePilot2009. on 26 May 10, 21:10:20 Obama hopes to capture the janitorial vote because someone has to clean up his mess when he leaves the White House in 2012.
Of course the Republicans will contract-out the janitors to a group of illegal aliens taken from Arizona prison camps.
Please Help for ... By: futuramzic. on 26 May 10, 15:01:12 Please Help for chamber rent: 10010430655018 SEB. Thank You So Much.
If only this was ... By: Greafgriet. on 25 May 10, 05:02:40 If only this was real, this would give hope to millions of people and show their jobs really do matter.
Genius, LOL By: bartonstaleter. on 24 May 10, 19:10:42 Genius, LOL
3killabytes By: XjaredstubeX. on 20 May 10, 02:43:02 3killabytes
@rabidfish02 He is ... By: JangosSoulja. on 19 May 10, 14:15:18 @rabidfish02 He is sitting right next to the podium, 1st from the left, laughing his ass off.
@blacksquirrel09 ... By: pieguyfry22. on 18 May 10, 21:37:10 @blacksquirrel09 yeah they expect them to pull a hamster out of their ass and dance the cha-cha, and laugh like an easily amused baby.
...Where was Obama? ... By: rabidfish02. on 18 May 10, 19:36:41 ...Where was Obama? lol.
It's funny because ... By: LordSch3tzer. on 16 May 10, 10:24:54 It's funny because this would never fucking happen...at least I think that's why...o.o"
This was brilliant! By: BigBadWolfMama. on 15 May 10, 18:57:08 This was brilliant!
Mrs Choo died ? I ... By: Roachenator. on 11 May 10, 22:56:59 Mrs Choo died ? I didnt know that. Damn
didn't find this ... By: jasonlyleblack. on 11 May 10, 14:54:15 didn't find this one to be laugh out loud funny, but A+ for creativity! haha love the concept and the editing.
If I had a nickel ... By: xiberphim. on 09 May 10, 23:59:05 If I had a nickel for each time The Onion made me smile...
![Police Seize More Than $50 In Wire From Nation\](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/aU2SWgP9qao/2.jpg "Police Seize More Than $50 In Wire From Nation\")
![In The Know: Are Tests Biased Against Students Who Don\](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/2RrreVthWRY/2.jpg "In The Know: Are Tests Biased Against Students Who Don\")
![Guatemalan Flight\](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/8du60e0ANuE/2.jpg "Guatemalan Flight\")
![Al-Qaeda Calls Off Attack On Nation\](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/T1l217B88nk/2.jpg "Al-Qaeda Calls Off Attack On Nation\")
![New Google Phone Service Whispers Targeted Ads Directly Into Users\](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Xtuxax8Dtk4/2.jpg "New Google Phone Service Whispers Targeted Ads Directly Into Users\")
![\](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/JbCG9i9FL68/2.jpg "\")
Latest comments made on this video:
By: jeremyshambles. on 10 Sep 10, 11:46:32
his own private xanadu, that was gold, cheers onion, your writers are world class.
By: JustWatchingYourVids. on 10 Sep 10, 10:30:49
I don't get it. Not funny
By: Henio0. on 10 Sep 10, 09:30:55
I.... AM... KROGEN!!!
By: Skkitzzo86. on 10 Sep 10, 07:38:57
The onion = Greatest Trolls Ever. If i ever need a laugh i read all the comments of people who think this is serious :)
By: RomZruleTeHworld. on 10 Sep 10, 06:53:52
$50? lolz. and he looks like Makarov in MW2!
By: MetalOliver. on 10 Sep 10, 06:20:42
50$ worth of wire = newswort.... oh TheOnion, thought that was fox news for a second :s
By: IQR77. on 10 Sep 10, 04:59:10
In Finland this kind of video is true. Our police has recently find out that in our small country has 76 organized crime families. 76!!!! and most of them are just like these guys on video. Funny is also when police founds something like 100g amfetamin, newspapers describe it a "shipment". This is true.
By: harlan51594. on 10 Sep 10, 04:57:26
@fenriz218 jankem is shit that you inhale you cant inject it
By: WisdomIce. on 10 Sep 10, 04:51:15
@coogiszk Nice!!!!!!!!
By: AvsJoe. on 10 Sep 10, 04:04:28
It's always good to see powerful drug barons get their comeuppance. Let's give a round of applause to Michigan police!
By: BaurakAle7. on 10 Sep 10, 03:43:54
I would love to find a popular dating website that could pair lonely singles with wines . . . I'd know just what I needed to buy on a date.
By: raleelee88. on 10 Sep 10, 03:40:34
@GhostDistortion I thought I was the only one that found humor in people's dumb behavior..and that's why I never miss a video that The Onion News Network puts out. It makes me freakin day. And yeah, meth heads totally look like that lol.
By: MoOtErFiCk1. on 10 Sep 10, 03:28:40
@coogiszk LOL!! IT IS YOU!!!
By: pplkillppl. on 10 Sep 10, 02:59:54
Its too true to be funny.
By: coogiszk. on 10 Sep 10, 02:59:09
HAHA, i'm in this video...i'm one of Krogen's bodyguards!
By: HaNsAnEnTeRtAiNmEnT3. on 10 Sep 10, 02:46:44
Look up Hannibal Sanchez :watch my video's: I'm your Future!
By: TAROlovex3. on 10 Sep 10, 02:43:38
Was barely funny :/
By: MastaRikta. on 10 Sep 10, 02:14:45
This is not consistent with my research done with "Breaking Bad"...
By: Horn0816. on 10 Sep 10, 01:46:36
Haha! "Police managed to flip one of Krogen's top leutenants by offering him a cup of coffee" Dude played hard ball and kept his mouth shut, but once they found his weakness...
By: thecimerakiller863. on 10 Sep 10, 01:32:40
?????????????????????????
By: wishingyouwerescene. on 10 Sep 10, 01:32:40
@giveobamaquarters bwahhahahaha (sorry if this is a double post)
By: nalgaface123456789. on 10 Sep 10, 01:18:15
LOL at the little stories at bottom
By: wetman30. on 10 Sep 10, 01:18:12
thats gangsta
By: MasterOGA. on 10 Sep 10, 00:46:31
This was BARELY funny
By: VituMV. on 10 Sep 10, 00:35:47
meth's a hell of a drug